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Whenever we try something new, something unexpected, or something out of our comfort zones, there’s this little voice inside of our head that pops up screaming DANGER!! That’s our self doubt and fear coming into play. These are the two biggest obstacles between your current life and your dream life.
Feeling fear is natural. And when I say fear, I’m not talking about the fear of heights or spiders; I’m talking about the fear of being judged, of not being good enough, fear of failure or success. There are six basic fears that prevent us from making sound decisions, as described in the book, Think and Grow Rich, namely
- Fear of Poverty
- Fear of Criticism
- Fear of Ill Health
- Fear of Loss of Love
- Fear of Old Age
- Fear of Death
Reason Behind Your Fears And Self Doubt
It goes back to our caveman days, when the fear of death hovered over our heads whenever we stepped outside of our safe zones (caves). But now, that fear of “Am I going to Die?” is replaced with “What will people say about me?”. Instead of protecting us, our fears have begun to influence our decisions and hold us back.
Of course, you won’t die if you start that new business or quit smoking. But you still have your doubts because these things are new to your brain and will require you to leave your comfort zone in order to achieve them, and our brain perceives danger outside of our comfort zones.
That is precisely why you need to overcome them. You can never get rid of all your fears. And that’s okay. However, you can work on yourself to reduce their effect.
“Feel the fear, and do it anyway.”
Why Your Fear Controls You
There are 3 main reasons why our fear kicks in and why we let it control us, as described by Brendon Burchard :
1. Pain of Loosing What We Have
We often avoid taking the next risky step because we feel that we might loose what we have.
You’re afraid of starting a new business because you’re scared you’ll have to quit your job. You will no longer be paid on a consistent basis. You’d lose your coworkers. You’d lose the security that comes with this job.
You make all these excuses because you’re too comfortable with your current life. And you don’t realize that this comfort zone is actually killing your dreams.
2. Pain of The Process
Then you start thinking about how much effort you’d have to put in. If you want to start a diet, you start thinking about all the junk food you’d have to give up. You would have to go to the gym and start working out.
Eh, so much effort!
You’d have to plan your meals and choose healthy alternatives while grocery shopping. As a result, you become exhausted and quit before even getting started, because of the pain of the process.
In reality, the process becomes much easier, once you begin.
3. Pain of The Outcome
Our mind can be our worst enemy. It has a habit of jumping to the worst conclusion. You start thinking what if I take the leap and work hard for a few years and still fail? What if I don’t make any money? What if no one likes my work? You start thinking of all the ways that it can fail. This approach is wrong in so many ways, because
a) Even if you fail, as long as you stay alive you can always make it work.
b) At least, you faced your self-doubt and fear and did it anyway.
How To Overcome Your Fear and Self Doubt?
Every decision that you take comes from either a place of fear or a place of power. You make the choice every time you ‘step back and succumb to fear’ or ‘lean forward and do what needs to be done’. Here are the steps to overcoming fear and self doubt :
1. Be Aware
Start with Self Awareness. Observe your feelings while making a decision. Examine whether your decisions are made out of fear or from a position of power.
Notice the outcomes of those decisions as well. Look back upon your life and see, how many decisions that came from a place of fear, are you proud of?
How many of those decisions have resulted in new opportunities and experiences?
A lot of times we hold ourselves back thinking that we are taking the safe route and want some security in our lives. There’s no such thing as a safe route, 2020 for sure showed us that! Thirty-Five Million people lost their “secure” jobs during this time. Be self-aware and listen to your instincts, they will tell you what’s best for you.
2. Choose Different Thoughts
Once you’re aware that you are confronting your fears and you must make a decision. Instead of giving in to all the pains mentioned above, consider all the positive outcomes possible. Instead of worrying about losing your security or a fixed salary, think of how much more you can start earning. Think of the impact you can make once you achieve your goals.
Similarly, while following a diet, instead of worrying about all the hard work you’d have to put in, consider how it would feel to finally be fit, the clothes you’d be able to wear, the energy you’d have, and how confident you’ll be.
3. Take Action To Eradicate Fear And Self Doubt
You can only eradicate self doubt with confidence. And you stop feeling fear when you demonstrate to your brain that there’s no danger in trying new things. The more things you try, the more your comfort zone expands and the more fears you overcome.
So, if you’re feeling uncomfortable, fearful, or full of self doubt, realize that you are at the verge of your comfort zone and you need to lean forward and step out of it.
There’s no point in taking actions inside of your comfort zone. Just like, doing exercises that don’t push you won’t help in your muscle growth.
Taking action is the only way to boost your confidence. No matter how significant the outcome is, if you take actions to overcome your fear, you are already ahead of a lot of people. Because most people fall back in this area only.
What are your fears?
Comment down below mentioning your fears and what actions you will take to overcome them. I know it’s hard to take actions and step outside of your comfort zone. Take your time but be aware that your dream life lies on the other side of taking actions.